You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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