Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
