I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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