Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
