it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
