what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
