he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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