I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
