if i died would you start the facebook group?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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