Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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