New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize