I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
