Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
