You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
