You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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