so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
