hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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