we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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