SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Two words: nipple clamps
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