just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize