new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
