aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
