You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
