My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
