How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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