don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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