Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?