Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
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my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
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I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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