Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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