So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
