Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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