Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
