y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize