yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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