So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
