woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
