I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
