I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
