Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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