Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
