I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize