Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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