C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
