I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Drake has all the answers
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
