O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize