there were more penises there than on chat roulette
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
