My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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