im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
