since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
