Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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