Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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