dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
