I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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