How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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