He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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